M.Sc. B.A. Relate Cert C.C.
Registered Counsellor BACP & UKRC
Coast Road, Rhyl, LL18 3PL
07551 529 386
Self esteem is the relationship you have with yourself. It can be nurtured or starved through the "self talk" or stream of thoughts we experience.
Your sense of self worth can become much damaged for example when a relationship ends, particularly if you are the one who has been "dumped".
Counselling can help you uncover what you want, begin to help you take care of yourself, learn to relax more and take time for yourself.
Some clients find it tricky at first to think about themselves, that they matter, but this forms first steps in improving self confidence.
This can be most difficult for people who have become very used to putting others first.
Just like learning a new language, finding your voice takes practice and experimentation to become fluent.
Like any change you will be invited to monitor, reflect on and experiment with the new ideas and self awareness you develop in counselling.
Low self esteem is often learned earlier in life and you may find that you will learn new things about yourself by challenging these old self concepts.
In counselling you may experiment with these new ideas and begin to change old outdated patterns and "scripts". Sometimes this means beginning to think in terms of "I want" rather than "I should".
You will be invited to get to know yourself more through counselling and begin to value yourself more.
Sometimes people see "self care" as selfish, but self caring is self valuing, whereas selfishness puts a higher value on self than others and selflessness put a lower value on you than others.
Counselling can help you develop assertiveness skills, helping you identify your feelings and thoughts and expressing these, for example learning to say "no".
Work often involves practicing not only what to say, but how to say it.
Working between sessions, for example journaling can help you monitor your progress. Client and counsellor work in a collaborative way and the therapeutic relationship can be a dynamic space in which to explore, understand and change self esteem.
Source: Litvinoff Starting Again
Waines The Self Esteem Journal