M.Sc. B.A. Relate Cert C.C.
Registered Counsellor BACP & UKRC
Coast Road, Rhyl, LL18 3PL
07551 529 386
Common developmental changes are: parenting ideas/ whether to become parents or perhaps dealing with fertility problems or sexual health, dealing with pregnancy loss through miscarriage.
A first baby, even a very wanted baby can take some getting used to for example tiredness, less money and less time.
Becoming parents brings our individual meanings and expectations of what we think are the roles of mother and father.
Having a baby can rouse strong feelings for parents- love, frustration or jealousy.
Your sex life can change because of physical or emotional factors.
Infertility, (when you have tried to conceive for a year but it hasn't happened), can lead to tricky conversations, medical investigations and strong feelings of loss, anger and even guilt or blame.
Having sex to conceive can change enjoyment and spontaneity of sex.
Balancing decisions about who works and who cares for the children can create a lot of mixed feelings.
Making time to communicate, negotiate and deal with feelings that arise for both of you is crucial, particularly when juggling home and family life as well as work.
As parenting involves a balance of protection and preparation, you might find when children are very young you do more protection and when they develop through teenage years and into young adulthood may mean you spend more time in preparation. With adolescent children your home may be chaotic and challenging. Boundaries get pushed and can put a lot of stress on all family relationships.
When children leave the nest is another period of adjustment. It might be the first time in many years or decades since it was just the two of you. When you are less occupied with the day to day life of children living at home it you may find being together stressful, this may take its toll on your relationship or create doubts about its future. This can be a time when you might not be "on the same page" any longer, or discover you have little left in common, except for your children.
Counselling at any of these stages can help you unpack individual ideas and work toward joint solutions.
Source Litvinoff, The Relate Guide to Better Relationships