M.Sc. B.A. Relate Cert C.C.
Registered Counsellor BACP & UKRC
Coast Road, Rhyl, LL18 3PL
07551 529 386
Although we know some theory about communication:
We know for example how important it is to listen and to explain clearly how we feel.
We know too that there will be times when we feel and think strongly differently from our partner.
It can be very tricky to hold onto this information and apply it when hurt angry scared or upset.
Often we feel strongest when we think we "should" or "must". Should and must ideas usually come from some learning in the past and often from an authority figure e.g. parents, school, community groups, religious groups, culture etc.
Sometimes the most difficult communication is over the things we feel most strongly about. A partner may hold a very different or even opposing position.
Only 35 % of our messages are verbal: i.e. the words we use and how they are used.
65% of our messages are non verbal i.e. tone of voice, volume body language and gestures and facial expression.
In couple relationships our communication will be coloured by our past experience, our mood, confidence, hope and expectations. It will also be affected by the other persons hearing and listening, their past experiences and expectations.
Couple counselling can help clarify meanings and help understanding.
It can help unpack how come each partner feels strongly or differently to the other.
A couple counsellor will not take sides but will work to facilitate good communication.